Volar Portex


I don’t really like to watch the news. Actually, here in the North Country, I’m not sure there is any news anyway. It’s kind of like the town in the movie Groundhog Day.  Here the local news anchors are in almost every commercial on TV, promoting anything from insurance, tax prep, YMCA membership, washers and driers to furniture, cell phones and restaurants. That’s how busy these guys are digging up and reporting the local news. After the local news, there is the syndicated “news,” like CBS morning or Good Morning America, which is more like a variety show.  So it wasn’t until after we had had several feet of snow and freezing temperatures that I heard the term “Polar Vortex” thrown around. I ask, who gets to come up with these names? (Polar Vortex, Snowmageddon, etc.) Anyways, I don’t think the weather was anything unusual for this area. Of course, we didn’t get the brunt of the storm. About 40 minutes south of us is an area that is routinely hammered with lake effect snow and I am sure they got a lot this time around.  They did close all the highways around us, leading south, as well as to the border, and there were several snow days at the schools. We just stayed inside and waited for a clearing to dig out from the snow. Not much to write home about.20140112-210722.jpgGrets is now 14 months.20140112-210850.jpg

Only 4 more until nursery. Thank goodness, as she is getting heavy. I would love to see her dad try to handle a toddler on a Sunday. Actually for many Sundays in a row, while I watch from a distance. And he must follow some rules.

#1. He must be in a dress, with pantyhose and heels. We could glue a wig to his head so he feels the tug of little hands on long hair.

#2. He must retain modesty and composure at all times. No losing your temper, or showing your slip.

#3. He must do it all by himself:  carrying bags, changing diapers, putting on jackets, getting in and out of the car, taking the sacrament, quieting the other children, finding snacks, picking up dropped snacks, opening hymn books, closing hymn books, etc.. We could add in fasting or menstruating while we’re at it just to give the full effect. Actually, let’s just have him get the children up AND ready for church. And don’t be late!  That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

#4. Under no circumstances will he let the toddler run around on the ground. Once that happens, all hope is lost.

Okay, okay, so he probably won’t ever wear a dress to church, but he hasn’t really ever sat with our family in church when we’ve had a toddler. He must have a very different view on what children are all about. I still like him, though….and the kids, too.


I am an angel at church.


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2 Responses to Volar Portex

  1. Andy Olson says:

    I am a little scared for my first Sunday back. Will give it my best shot though! Love, Andy

  2. Anonymous says:

    I love those pictures. Greta looks like a little lady in the dress. I do not feel too terribly sorry for your church experiences. Been there and done that. You’re doing good.

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