I guess it’s been a while, but I bought a Macbook. I love it. I am in love with it. I would marry it.
I’m not good with computers. Usually when something goes wrong, or goes the way I don’t want, I just keep pushing buttons until something happens. Sometimes what happens isn’t what I want either, but at least it’s something. Pushing buttons (I mean LOTS of buttons, with lots of gusto) was becoming too routine on the laptop running on Vista. I mean, who invented Vista? What a stupid name. Nothing but trouble. I just don’t have the patience to wait around for Vista to have a bowel movement. That’s not even mentioning the hardware on the laptop. The touchpad was getting so hot that it scalded my fingers as I scrolled. What’s that about? And the sound? Like my own personal jet engine. And that was before you did anything with the disk drive.
Andy used to work with a man whose name closely resembled Fabio. I can’t resist referring to him as such. I don’t remember his real name anymore. Just Fabio. Funny he looked nothing like Fabio. Maybe similar hair color, but that’s all. Anyway, this Fabio had a very short fuse, especially with computers. Maybe he was using Vista?? Probably. Fabio was famous in the workplace for manhandling the computers. I think he threw one or punched the screen or something. Not one time, but several different occasions. I think he was banned from using the computer alone. It was getting too expensive, or hard to explain when a replacement was needed. Well, Fabio….I hear you. When Microsoft is involved, I feel your pain, and I’ve been very close to punching the Vista computer, too. I sometimes refer to the Vista computer as “being Fabio” when it acts up. Fabio…..Who wouldn’t want to punch the lights out on something that flashes the blue screen of death in your face like a streaker; just when you least expect it, when you certainly don’t need it. It leaves you feeling infuriated, violated and stunned all at once. Who wouldn’t want to hurl the CPU through the window when it magically shuts down right in the middle of the document or email you’ve been writing for the last 40 minutes? Who hasn’t raised a fist and mumbled a few choice words to ol’ man Gates when the question, so politely poised, “Would you like to start in Safe Mode?” appears? Safe Mode…now that’s a crock. Safe from what? It even gives you a countdown, like a time bomb. Strangely prophetic.
Did I mention I got a Macbook? It is beautiful. True engineering beauty, aesthetically. I’m very impressed. Even opening the box was a delight. Those Apple guys. Very clever. And I’m sure that it has all of this cool software that I’ll never learn how to use. I know I will never discover its real potential. (I’m still learning how to cut and paste.) It’s probably way out of my league. I admit it. I don’t know much about computers, but I do know that the Mac isn’t running Windows. And as far as I can see, there isn’t much else I need to know.